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THE BITTER HONEY
(SEX EDUCATION)
Many teenagers do not feel comfortable when ever such discussion (sex education) comes up. Most of them feel they are
too young to talk about it while some thinks they will easily get spoilt. But in this midst very few would want to participate
so that they can learn or be aware of the dangers behind premarital sex. I strongly believe that sex education is the best
topic for a teenager, because if they are ignorant of the after effects of premarital sex they will take it as pleasure.
Parents should get closer to their children and teach them sex education; they should not depend on the teachers alone.
'The Bitter Honey' briefly explains the broad topic 'Sex Education' and I believe at the end of reading you will be enlightened.
The Allan Guttmacher Institute reported in the year 1981 that eight in 10 males and seven in 10 females had sex while
in their teens, and this is one of the reasons I am concentrating on teenagers. 75% adults today agreed they first had sex
while in their teens, but because of ignorance of the consequences of premarital sex 45% out of the 75% suffers today. And
35% in the 45% cries in pain saying, "I never thought it would happen to me." As you read along you will understand
why they later regret having premarital sex.
Sex is a common word to every teenager/adult, and in the world today 88% of teenagers are having sex; if you ask them
to define it some don't really know what to say. Sex simply means sexual intercourse - the fusion of the male and female sexual
organs (genitals). And when they fused together they exchange fluids. Though it may seem enjoyable but the fluids exchanged
during sexual intercourse may contain diseases that can cause illness and death. That is why this book is titled 'The Bitter
honey'. Note: Sex is as sweet as a bitter leaf.
After talking to a billion teenagers I understood that it is not all that really wanted to have sex. Most of them were
not intended but they were very weak and easily cracked, some were raped, drugged etc. Some made covenant with themselves
never to have premarital sex but along the line something happened and they could not keep to their promise any longer. Majority
today say they will never have premarital sex but it is not all of them that will be able to make it. For example, if 100%
teenagers say they will stay chaste at the end of the day it is only 20% that will make it. Why is it so? Why is it difficult
to stay chaste?
Since you are a teenager, there are lots of things you do not know and some selfish adults would want to take an advantage
of it. Most of the female teenagers agreed they first had sex with an adult; it is so because the adults are wise enough to
know how to get the teenagers - the adult will locate her weak point and use it on her. If she is in love with money he will
use money, if she likes people that have heart he will pretend. He will show great love and care (mostly when he discovers
she is from a broken home), and because of lack of experience/awareness she would fall for him. In such cases she may fall
because she would want to pay him back for his kindness/care not knowing he has been pretending all these while. Immediately
as he gets what he has long been waiting for he will fade away as fast as he could.
When you find yourself alone with a friend of the opposite sex you may mistakenly have sex. This results when both of
you are too close to each other and staring at each others eyes.
When a friend wants to have sex with you and you are abstaining he will try to convince you that it is fun and normal
to have sex. He will state a lot of theories just to get into you. On the other hand you may not want to be viewed as odd,
and if you are not careful he will succeed.
You may suddenly find yourself tasty to have sex since you see your friends doing it and they are happy and ok. Then they
will tell you a lot about sex and some sweet moments they have shared with some guys. They will convince you that there is
no harm in having sex and you don't even know their state of health.
These are some reasons why staying chaste may seem difficult, but I tell you, this is no threat to the one that really
wants to abstain.
But there are some problems that lies at the corner if someone had sex intentionally or not.
Because having premarital sex was not your intention, after having sex mistakenly you will feel greatly disappointed of
yourself. So soon, within few minutes the sweetness of sex is gone and you have already broken the covenant you made to yourself.
You will be sad/cold, you know you are no longer innocent, and this will affect your mentality, academics and spiritual life.
According to the book 'Questions Young People Ask' a young girl cried after having premarital sex saying, "It was a big
let down, no feeling of good or warmth of love as it was supposed to be. Rather the full realization of how wrong the act
was hit me. I felt totally ashamed at my lack of self-control."
After having premarital sex you might feel guilt and irritated, this may make you hate the person you had sex with. On
the other hand, the boy may find you cheap and less attractive; he thinks you are having sex with other guys around. When
he starts staring at you this way you will feel ashamed and that is where contrition comes in.
Since the sweetness of sex did not last long you would want to have sex again. And before it comes to your notice you
have fallen in love with sex and this will make you to have multiple sex partners, and when it gets to this stage your life
is at risk.
You will suddenly become disrespectful to those you used to respect. This is common to the female teenagers who are having
sex with the adults. You may look your mates down and feel very high. You will start mingling with your type (those that are
having sex) and feel no one can talk to you.
These problems above are regarded as minor problems because they depend on the individual. The after effects of sex may
be very dangerous and painful, and we all know that pleasures enjoy today can cause pain tomorrow, Proverbs 5:3-4. We need
to accept and do the right thing. Sex may be enjoyable but one also needs to know the other side of it. Note: sex is like
a bee that produces honey but also sting.
Sex may lead to teenage pregnancy which always results in abortion. When a teenager gets pregnant, shame and guilt would
make her secretly abort the pregnancy, and when she does it two things happens: she may loose her womb and will not be able
to have a child again in her life, or she may die during the process of aborting the pregnancy. Even if she succeeds, she
becomes a murderer for killing the child in her womb. Isn't that bad?
Premarital sex may lead to illegitimacy, and eventually to premature marriage. When a young girl gets pregnant, she suddenly
looses focus in life and this will make her grow wild and aggressive. Most teenagers gets pregnant because they see their
friends have sex and don't get pregnant. This is one of the reasons why some say, "I never thought it would happen to
me."
One can contact sexually transmitted disease (S.T.D.) through sex. These diseases are deadly and true, example: gonorrhea,
syphilis, staphylococcus, HIV/AIDS etc. Some of these diseases have no cure and causes death.
These diseases are transmitted through the exchange of fluids during sex by the two partners. The most dangerous thing
is that it is very difficult to know who is carrying such diseases because the affected person may appear to be very healthy
and attractive - the affected person may not even know he/she is sick. And when you have sex with such person you will be
infected with such disease, but that is not your portion in Jesus name. A young sick person said, "The way I am living
right now, most of my abilities are going to waste." So sad, if she had known she would have abstained from having sex.
In no doubt, you must accept the fact that premarital sex is a sin (1 Corinthians 6:13). If you had premarital sex you
have sinned against God.
Now that you are aware of the consequences of sex it is important for you to know how to protect yourself against diseases
(safe sex). Today if you tell some teenagers or young adults to zip-up or stay chaste she might laugh at you internally -
she might have tried but it didn't work. Some have already started having sex and when it comes to this they may not want
to listen. No matter how many times one must have had sex she can still stay chaste if only she wants to.
To such persons who feels it is difficult to zip-up I advice you to use the condom for safe sex. Many are aware of the
dangers behind sex yet they have sex. So it is very important to lecture them on how to use the condom for protection.
When you use the condom you have high proportion of safety, in the sense that you have lesser chance of suffering the
after effects of sex. Many people concluded that with condom you do not get the real satisfaction, but that is not true, you
can get used to it. Majority make mistakes when they want to taste the true sweetness of sex and just one mistake can destroy
the entire life.
Above all, abstinence is the best method of protection against S.T.Ds. when you stay chaste you are 100% sure of good
health and you will be happy with yourself. You may be ridiculed by your friends; sometimes you may feel you are missing something.
You may be tempted several times - boys may locate your weak points and use it on you, but because of your awareness and God
on your side you will not fall a victim. This scripture 1 Corinthians 6:18 will be your guide and someday God will direct
the right husband to you. Even in the midst of temptations you will feel proud and different; you will see yourself unique
and expensive. But the question now is, how can I avoid premarital sex?
Truly, it is very possible to stay chaste, but you will come across many temptations along the way. You must be very careful
in order not to fall or get loss. Staying chaste depends greatly on the girl's determination - you must avoid anything that
will bring temptation. I found out that one of the reasons why most girls fail to abstain is the kind of friends they keep,
like the adage that said, "Birds of the same feather flock together." You must avoid such friends in order to succeed.
If you love them so much teach them sex education, and when they refuse to listen then you will flee from them. Proverbs 13:20.
1 Corinthians 15:33.
Your appearance matters a lot; the kind of dress you put on must be decent. You must dress modestly so that the guys will
have good impression on you, but when you dress hot/sexy you will become noticed and in no time the guys will be attracted.
When you are alone with a friend you should be careful with your discussions. Some guys could say they want to discuss
sex education but they can use it to seduce you. You can avoid this by: Don't be too close to each other (if he sits on this
chair you should sit on the far opposite/extreme end). Don't stare at his eyes when he is talking; some guys can use their
eyes to capture you. Don't pay too much attention on his discussion. Change the topic instantly if you suspect/think he is
going too far. If he tries to have sex with you say no and mean it, don't ever listen to his plead.
The greatest challenge in staying chaste is when the girl is keeping a relationship, and this is the main reason why many
girls break their covenant because she may want to keep and please her boyfriend. But a girl can stay chaste while keeping
a relationship. Most of them fall after the boy says, "If you really like someone you will kiss and hold him." or
something related. The girl may feel bad and she would want to prove to him that she really like him by doing what he said,
not knowing that alone could lead to petting and eventually sex. Research concluded by saying, "A good, strong and
lasting relationship demands restraint and powerful self-control." 1Corinthians 7:2-5.
If you are keeping a relationship your boyfriend must be aware of your limitations. If he really have good plans for both
of you in the future he will wait, but if he keeps demanding for sex tell him why you can't have sex. Though it may lead to
broken relationship but if he is a God fearing man he would understand. You two should date in group. Don't ever be alone
with him in a car or in the house. Don't go out at night or late in the night.
The true fact is that premarital sex is bad; the bible views it as a sin to God and your body as well. 1 Corinthians 6:13,
18-19. 1 Thessalonians 5:22. Sometimes your heart seems to be the culprit(Matthew 15:19.) Example, you might feel that you
have a normal attraction/feeling towards someone, but the more you get closer to each other the greater the attraction/feeling,
and someday both of you will start petting each other and eventually ended it with sudden sex. So be careful with your hearts
decision towards someone. And when your heart is trying to put you down use same manners with it in order to defeat it.
Most importantly, always pray to God and tell him to help you. Without God on your side you just cannot make it. Be strong
in your faith and never let your self down. Your parents can only lecture you on sex education but the decision lies on you.
It is your life, it is not theirs. You are the king of your life. Many teenagers and adults were aware of the after effects
of premarital sex but they didn't listen, when they later fall victims some said, "I never thought it would happen to
me." This is a straight and sad talk; no one would want to say such words. At the end most of them concluded by saying,
"I never knew, I wouldn't have done it." Don't be one of these frustrated young girls in the world today.
Now at this moment I am feeling sad because I know what I am saying, many young handsome and beautiful teenagers are
dying because of ignorance - example is the young beautiful Kenya girl in the picture below, who died of AIDS. I visit the
hospital always and there I always shed tears because I see a lot. If I could share their experiences I would have done it
but it's just too painful. Some were abandoned by their best friends, parents and families and the death rate is increasing
everyday. That is why you must spread this message after reading it; make yourself a tool for healing the world. The best
gift a friend can offer is this topic, if only you listen and do the right thing there will be a brighter tomorrow. I so much
like the adage that says, "A word is enough for the wise".
Sex education is a broad topic but I think I have been able to summarize it all. This book specially goes out to all young
girls because it's the girls that mostly suffer. Now that you have been illuminated I want you to spread this message to all
your friends including boys (those having sex or not) starting from your family. Teach your younger family members first and
put each word at the back of your head.
Endurance Ubogu
This work and all quotations are originally done by me and it is dedicated to all teenagers around the world. For more
information contact me through my email address.
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| This is a picture of beautiful girl. Click the picture if you want to know more about good health. |
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